What Men Wont Tell Women About Sex
Through my practice I have counseled hundreds of couples about making a relationship work. Although there are many contributing factors why relationships go through a breakup, when it came to men I kept finding the same one over and over…sex.
The Couples Project
To avoid a breakup in a committed relationship, here’s what we wanted to know from men
What Men Won’t Tell Women About Sex
What attracts you and how important is it to you?
Is it important enough to cause you to become a cheating man?
Is sex important enough to affect a breakup?
Does your partner really know your sexual needs?
Do you feel you can honestly discuss the topic of sex in detail with your partner?
And most important, we wanted to know; What is the reference point you wish your partner had concerning men and sex that would allow you to truly connect on this subject. In other words, what do you wish your partner already understood concerning sex that could affect a breakup?
Men and Sex - Men Sexuality and Relationships
In 2002 funding was secured for a study called The Couples Project. The study spanned 5 years and focused on men and sex in committed relationships. Over 500 men participated in the detailed study.
The objective was not to influence behavior, such as counseling does but instead to learn what was the motivation for the behavior men were displaying. And I knew from my practice that this behavior was being displayed over and over influencing the number of breakups that were landing in my counseling office due to cheating men.
To assure we got honest, complete and insightful answers from our participants, the study guaranteed anonymity, 100% confidentiality and only used male staff. And yes, we covered EVERYTHING dealing with men relationships and sexuality.
Some of the findings were surprising
89% of men felt their partner did not really know them when it came to sexuality.Even more surprisingly, men don't feel able to touch the subject honestly and in depth with their partner.
When a man initiated a break up, he usually disguised the reason into something else if it had to do with sex.
Think of it,
Men terminate relationships because they feel their needs weren’t met, AND they feel they cannot even honestly discuss the topic with their partner AND they disguise the reason for the breakup, probably leaving their partner confused.
And worse, this cycle seems to be learned and repeated over and over.
Some examples volunteered to show how prevalent and entrenched the topic of men sexuality were:
Why are parking lots at topless bars overflowing on Friday and Saturday nights? Don’t believe it? Drive by one.
Why are so many men addicted to internet porn? Are you sure your man is not?
Why are some men so easy to pick up? Don’t believe it? Just smile at one when you are approached.
Why are men in powerful positions so willing to risk it all for the sake of sex?
The study also evaluated the accuracy of some generally held beliefs including
The concept of a female needing the perfect body to keep a man attracted.
Or, if she does not have that ever elusive perfect body, that she needs to always vigilantly watch and keep her man’s options closed so he won’t wander.
Surprisingly, the Couples Project concluded that from a man’s point of view, both of these assumptions were false.
Stop a Breakup
What Men Won’t Tell Women About Sex
The findings from The Couples Project concerning men and sex in relationships are now being published. The objective is to assist females in committed relationships address the topic that according to men is at the top of their list, but feel they can’t honestly discuss in depth. The contents are non judgmental but instead simply go to the “heart of the matter”.
The findings cover areas that according to the study, men wish their partner understood concerning men and sex to truly connect in a relationship and to keep that relationship strong. This guide, adapted from the conclusions of the Couples Project is not a “smut” guide, nor is it an outlet for repressed fantasies. It is meant to provide you with FYI background knowledge of men and sex in a relationship. And more importantly, give you insight into what men feel they can't tell you, but wished you knew.
It is my sincere wish that the findings help you cement a true honest and long lasting relationship. Isn’t that what a great relationship was supposed to be? It sure beats sitting in my counseling office discussing how to salvage a relationship affected by a cheating man.
The nominal price for the study findings go towards funding for a second part of the Couples Project, this time focusing on the female viewpoint on relationships and what issues are important to them.
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What Men Wont Tell Women About Sex
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